[Draft] 5 photos for 2^5

  

Last month I turned 32 (2^5, two to the fifth power). Being an exponential is pretty sweet and becomes increasingly less common as you age, and this is probably (and hopefully) the second-to-last power of 2 that I will ever be. For the occasion, I wanted to write a blog post sharing 5 photos from my life along with some reflections on each. Enjoy!

1. Youth

This photo shows me holding a fried worm while eating dinner with a new friend and his family in southern China during my Watson fellowship in 2014. 

I have changed a lot over the last 10 years since graduating college and even more so since starting my journey leaving home some 18 years ago. There are many benefits to being young, though, I really appreciate (and mostly prefer) my experience as I’ve gotten older. I have become more patient with and accepting of myself and the world. I am also more trusting of and relaxed with myself after having navigated a variety of strange and unknown situations across the world. I am more willing to watch things play out and enjoy the ride.

2. Connections - Present

This photo is of my two youngest nieces (their older sister wasn’t at the gym that day, I’m not forgetting you, Megan!). When I spent the winter in Bozeman last year, we got into a good rhythm of going to the climbing gym on Sundays. I appreciate rhythm and repetition in my life, and my connections with family and friends are built through those consistent interactions.

I really enjoyed living abroad, though it was hard to be away from friends and family. I have enjoyed having more time to invest in existing and new friendships over the last few years and look forward to continuing that in the future.

3. Connections - Past

While it is sometimes difficult to reflect on people who are no longer in your life either from their passing or the parting of ways, the pain of that separation heals with time. And hopefully, you begin to appreciate the contributions those people have made to who you are today.

This is a photo of my ex-wife hugging a huge fig tree in the Angkor Temples of Cambodia 😊 Our separation was one of the more difficult experiences of my life, and it, as well as our wonderful relationship, has greatly shaped the person I am today. I am grateful for our experiences together and for all the people who have contributed to my life and are no longer with me.

Embracing rather than fearing that relationships change is one of the harder things in life. But, as with most things, I am getting better at it with experience.

 

4. Focus

This photo shows one of the larger and prettier village visits I did while working for an off-grid mini-grid company in Myanmar. During that time, I was focused on visiting hundreds of villages to explain and sell our electricity service. This experience of focus is a major part of my life. I really enjoy the slow and steady repetition of an activity and the progression you experience as those things that were initially challenging can now be done effortlessly.

5. Reflection

This photo shows my tea, chai, samosas, and coffee cake at the local tea shop around the corner from my apartment in Yangon. On the weekends while living in Yangon, I would often go to this tea shop or a Japanese coffee shop with the newspaper and my computer to sit, read, work, and reflect.

More than just understanding what's going on inside you, I think reflection is an exercise in understanding and engaging with your inner voice. My relationship with my inner voice impacts everything I do and is the thing I am most grateful for in my life.

I know in a very deep sense that myself and my inner voice are all on the same team. I am there for myself through thick and thin because that inner voice is all I’ve got. It is the soft commentator on my slow ride through existence. While friends, family, and partners all make up a key part of my experience, at the end of the day, I am all I have. Relationships change, fade, end; people move away, and people pass away. But you will always have yourself.



I have found reflection to be a powerful force in my life and this 5-photo exercise is an exercise in refection. I’ve seen a therapist weekly for the last 15 months (something I think everyone should try), and while I have already discussed most of the real “heavy topics”, I still find the time really valuable because it really helps me be more aware of myself.

Even when my inner voice was being whiny, mean, or manipulative, it was still trying to protect and love me in the best way it knew how. Understanding and engaging with your inner voice is a form of self-love. And we all deserve ALOT of self-love. <3 

@Large on Alcatraz - An Ai Wei Wei Exhibition

Alcatraz Island

@Large was one of the best art exhibits I have ever visited. That isn't saying much, since I haven't visited many art exhibits. Still, I enjoyed trying to understand the hidden structure and meaning of the exhibit and there was no lack of depth to each of Ai Wei Wei's pieces! I wish I had time for a second visit to see what I could learn upon a second inspection.

The exhibition consisted of 6 pieces - In the Wind, Trace, Refraction, Stay Tuned, Illumination, Blossom, and Yours Truly. 

In the Wind - For Site Foundation

In the Wind is the first piece of the exhibition and is a beautifully colored paper dragon. The dragon is a celebratory symbol in China often associated with the emperor. As you can see from the picture above, it is a very colorful, majestic piece. 

Scales of In the Wind

The dragon is made up of individual scales, or perhaps circular cross sections is a more accurate description. Many of them just have beautiful patterns on them, but intersperse amongst the plain-patterened scales are those with a word or a quote. The scale above has a quote from Wei Jingsheng, a democracy activist in China. Other scales simply have words like "breaking", "damaging", and "disobey" artistically written across them.

The first two words I read on the scales were "breaking" and "damaging", which lead me to view the piece as something that sympathizes with the plight of dissidents. I interpreted "breaking" and "damaging" as meaning the state was "breaking" or "damaging" the rights of the people. However, as I explored the serpentine dragon more fully, I encountered words like "disobey" and my interpretation changed. The state was not "breaking" the people, it was the other way around! The dissidents were breaking, damaging, disobeying that state. 

The dragon is a celebratory symbol in China and In the Wind quickly showed me that @Large not only sympathized with the constrained state of dissidents, but also celebrated them! 

As I wandered a reflected upon this idea, I came upon an open door separating In the Wind with Trace.  I examined the door with all of its broken glass, rusted metal, and decay.

Alcatraz was first a military fort, then an army prison, and then the highest security penitentiary in the US. Many people were held here against their will. Today, however, the prison doors are rusted. The glass is broken. Free people wander the halls and wonder about what life was like under such oppressive conditions.

Refraction - For Site Foundation

Alcatraz is a metaphor for authoritarian governments. Two of Ai Wei Wei's pieces, In the Wind and Refraction, have the symbolism of something majestic being trapped in the space. However, we, the viewer, can see what has become of Alcatraz. Even though the paper dragon may seem weak against the imposing, concrete structure of Alcatraz, the dragon will eventually be released as the shackles around it crumble and decay. It may take time and hardship, but eventually all prisons turn to dust.

Trace to me seemed the most profound piece. On the surface the piece seems straightforward, and perhaps in many ways it us. It is such a large piece that it was hard for me to really analyze the small details. It is, however, the easiest piece to understand. iI shows hundreds of dissidents, past and present, who suffered oppression around the world.

Trace

What made the piece so profound to me was its ability to educate people on the plight of dissidents and how oppression is a global issue. Many millions of tourist visit Alcatraz every year and few of them go solely to visit the Ai Wei Wei exhibition. This means that many visitors stumble upon the art by accident.

Edward Snowden, front and center in Trace.

I found Ai Wei Wei's choice to put a picture of Edward Snowden squarely in front of people as they first see Trace as a very powerful state. Many people view Snowden as a traitor. Many see him as a hero. Personally I have mixed feelings and I also don't know how Ai Wei Wei feels about him. I hesitate to say he firmly believe Snowden is a hero. Instead, he recognizes the conflicting views of Snowden and  he puts him there to challenge people's perspective.

To the left of Snowden was a picture of MLK. To his right was Nelson Mandela. After chatting with the supervisor of the piece, I learned that many people were upset by placing Snowden among such great figures. To me, this conflict was the point. 

MLK, Nelson Mandela, and most other activist that we now see as heroes were not universally accepted as such when they were living. They challenged the status quo. They didn't follow the rules. They were imprisoned, exiled, or assassinated. 

Only in hindsight do we accept them as heroes. The image of Snowden represents the conflicting views society has of dissidents in the present. It provides an example of the conflicted views society had on say MLK in the midst of civil rights movement. Only in hindsight will we be able to accept or reject Snowden as a hero. Today, he provides an example to Americans of what it means to be a dissident in the present.

Stay Tuned -For Site Foundation 

I just briefly wanted to discuss one aspect of Stay Tuned. Here is a link to the website which has the entire collection of songs, speeches, and poems performed by activist across time and the globe. It is an amazing piece and I am so pleased they provided all of the songs on the website. 

The one aspect I wanted to discuss was the global nature of this exhibition. It draws attention to activists around the world. There are many different languages sang or spoken and the songs and speeches span from the early 20th century to very current Pussy Riot's Virgin Mary, Put Putin Away. My favorite so far is the first song on the website - Fela Kuti's Sorry Tears and Blood. Check it out!

Up close inside the prison cell.

One of the most striking parts of Stay Tuned to me was the realization that this art work is a byproduct of the digital age. It would have been impossible to bring such a broad spectrum of music and spoken word from across the world without digital files. Better communications are bringing societies closer together and raising awareness of the injustice in the world. 

Porcelain flowers will the sink, toilet, and tub of the psychiatric ward in Blossom - For Site Foundation

Blossom was the most challenge piece in the whole installation, which in certain ways made it my favorite : ) All the other pieces in the exhibition are very straightforward in their central message and how they interrelate to the other pieces. However, Blossom is very different!  How does a porcelain collage of flowers inside tubs, sinks, and toilets relate to a celebration of dissidents?

Other cell in Blossom

The exhibition offers one interpretation of Blossom as a reference to the Hundred Flowers Movement, which was a time in the 1950's when the Chinese Communist Party encouraged its people to speak openly about the government. As you can imagine, the party didn't like it very much when the speaking turned critical. A crack-down quickly followed.

After the history refresher, the Hundred Flowers interpretation does seem to fit. However, since many of the other pieces were multicultural, it seems strange to me that this would be so specific to China. However, the cells with water receptacles housing the porcelain flowers are scattered throughout the psychiatric ward, which may represent the flowering of critical voices in different parts of the world.

The most interesting interpretation I came up with was the idea of harmony between the different kinds of flowers. The collage is made up of big and small flowers all interwoven together. While some flowers may be larger than others, all are necessary to produce a beautiful collage. This may be a metaphor for respecting the voices of all people in a society to create harmony.

Since the flowers blossom from the bottom of drains, which are typically seen as dirty places, Blossom may also illustrate the hope and potential for something beautiful to grow from someplace dirty.

As the last artwork, Blossom gives us hope that the future may be a more beautiful place than the present.

Desk and rack of postcards in Yours Truly - For Site Foundation

Yours Truly is the last part of the exhibition, but is less of an artwork and more of a connection with the dissidents showcased in Trace. Those dissidents willing to share their address has allowed @Large to send them postcards. All visitors are encouraged to write a personal postcard to the political activists.

Yours Truly brings the interaction full circle by connecting visitors with dissidents.  For the visitor, it further enforces that the flight of these activists are real and happening right now. The For Site Foundation will handle all of the mailing procedures to send the postcards, though we can never be sure if the cards will be snatched up by the oppressive governments.

Anyone interested in seeing a professional review of the exhibition should check out Barry Willis' great review of @Large.

Thanks for reading! : )

A Salty Holiday Treat!

Beautiful Bondi Beach

To try to lighten up my blog and my experience, Hanna Groshong and Lori Bassman schemed to give me a gift certificate to a surf shop in Bondi Beach (complete with sunscreen) with the hitch that I need to write a blog post about my surf trip. Luckily there were no time restrictions on the gift because if there were, I probably would have failed. It's the end of march... Christmas was like 3 months ago....  But!  Better late than never, here is my experience (written probably 1 month ago - I just didn't get around to post it... I've got skills, right?)

Despite not being very good at it, I really love trying to surf - and this experience as no exception. I had wanted to surf in Australia, but did feel a little intimidated by the “city surf” scene. I am used to surfing in the open spaces of San Onofre, CA, but did surf around Santa Monica once. It was filled with failed attempts, people stealing my waves, and fears of bashing the heads of people in front of me. Luckily, my experience with city surfing in Sydney was much more pleasant than my experience at Santa Monica a few years ago. 

Since getting up on a surf board that isn’t twice as tall as I am still feels a bit like riding a wet fish, I’m not confident in my ability to maneuver around people who have the misfortune of being in front of me. And since no one likes getting hit with a surfboard, I like to have plenty of space. 

The day was a beautiful 30ºC (86ºF) and I would guess the waves were around 8-10 ft high. These conditions are perfect for getting tossed around and get tossed around I did. I got a 5 ft fish surfboard at Bondi Beach Surf Co and a wetsuit. I had only two hours to try to catch a wave, so I did a brisk jog to the pier where I could change. I snapped a picture of the surfboard, before grabbing it and running back onto the beach. 

Fiberglass Fish

What to do with the key to the locker where my citizen clothes were stashed proved to be a bit of a puzzle. It had a velcrow wrist strap, but one that I suspected wouldn’t last in the water. So I made like a little doggie and buried the key in the sand, making sure no one was watching me bury my treasure. I marked it with some garbage I found and headed off to master the waves. 

Here's some people mastering the waves. I was more like the people in the middle getting mastered by the waves

It was just my luck that the set was coming in, so it was quite a fight to get out there. The board wasn’t small enough to duck dive under the oncoming waves, so I had to do a turtle roll (rolling so the bottom of the board faces the sky with me under the water) to get around most of the passing waves. After probably 10 minutes which felt like an hour I had fought my way beyond the break line (the point at which the waves start breaking - which happens to be the place you want to be so that waves don’t constantly crash on you). In reality, I didn’t so much fight to get out to the break line, but rather struggled in vane to make progress until the set went out. Even though I had to wait a little while out in the ocean for the set to come in again, I got to enjoy one of the wonderful moments when the water is calm and cool, the sun is warm, and the view is amazing. 

Once the set came in again, I started trying to catch the wave. The fish board was a little less stable than I was used to, but I figured I would catch a wave and then worry about standing up. As the first few waves came in, I paddled hard to get in the right place for the wave to start pushing me, but was a bit too far out and was missing the first few waves. As I was waiting for the next one, a particularly sunburnt man ask me if my board was fiberglass. I thought maybe he wanted to know about the board to see how I liked it. I just said yes. He then replied that I couldn’t surf here. It was only for soft tops. I was a bit bemused because I had asked the people at the rental place if there were any restrictions on where I could surf and they said no. So I started to slowly paddle in.... but still trying to see if I could catch a wave.   I needed to move closer to shore anyway. After it was clear I wasn't trying that hard to paddle in, a lifeguard on an ATV with a loud speaker told me I need to come to shore. I gritted my teeth and started to actually paddle to shore.

Totally unrelated picture of some Kiteboarders. Kiteboarding is probably cooler than surfing. 

After talking to the lifeguard, I had two options: go to either end of the beach to surf with the other fiberglass boards, which didn’t seem very appealing since there were so many surfers there already, or go back to the surf shop to swap to a soft top. In the end I decided that I was more likely to catch a wave in the open space of the soft toppers, so I ran back up  the hill, to the surfshop, got a soft top, and ran back down the to the beach.

It was just my luck that during that time the set had come in, gone out, and had come back in again, so I again had to battle against the oncoming waves. Eventually I did get beyond the break line, but tried to stay a bit closer to the beach. I had a few good attempts, but time was running out. I decided to just go for it. A reasonable large (maybe 8 ft) wave was coming in and I decided to give it all I got. I got in front of it, paddled hard, paddled hard, paddled hard, and started to feel it push me along, but as I dropped down the smooth surface, the wave proved a bit too steep. The tip of my board poked into the wave and all was basically lost. In those moments, I don’t ever recall anything as I was tossed underwater and held there for a few seconds. Having been tossed around enough times, you learn to just let go. You aren’t in control of your body and just need to be patient. Eventually the wave will pass and you will surface, and I did just that.

More Bondi

Since I was in front of the break line and an onslaught of waves were coming in, I decided to just go with towards the beach and try to ride some white water instead of fighting my way past the breakpoint. I didn’t succeed in riding any white water before having to head in, but it was a lot of fun. 

Even just getting thrown around by the waves is exciting, tiring, and worthwhile. It isn’t quite as fun as actually getting up, but it is just the price that needs to be paid to enjoy the ride. Either way it was good fun!

A most special thanks to Lori for pushing me to get out on the water and for making my time in Sydney so enjoyable!  And to Hanna for putting the shackles on to write a less serious blog post. Sorry it came three months late!

My debt is repaid - I am again a free man!

And here's a sleeping Kaola

Food in China - 中国菜很好吃!

Some twisted, salted potatoes in Guangzhou.

Tons of food on a stick at the next stall.

Chicken feet turns out to be actually pretty good. It's just like eating the skin off chicken. However, I never ventured into the packaged chicken feet territory. I wanted to ship Davis, my little brother, one of these so badly because he used to collect pheasant feet after we would go hunting when he was a kid, but the post office wouldn't let me ship it!

I met Stefan and Jannie in Australia when I stayed with them in Sydney. I was lucky enough to come to China when they were visiting for the Chinese New Year.  I had traditional Guangdong food with Stefan's family. My mandarin was still really rough at that point, so all I could really say was 好吃 - tasty. So my conversation with Stefan's mom and grandma consisted of me just repeating 好吃， 好吃！

The silk worm was actually really good.

However, the earthworm quiche was not so good...

我阿姨！My aunty!

The next day we had a hot pot with sheep's brain, Stefan's sister's favorite. It wasn't very tasty....

MEGACOOKIE - I wouldn't eat it though. Probably made of saw dust.

These parakeets were not food, though sometimes it is hard to tell the distinction between food and non-food in China. This was at an animal market in Guangzhou.

These worms at the same market are food.

Sichuan beef in chili oil.

I loved this picture because it shows how crafty McDonalds is. "Let's put the ice cream outpost in front of BabyLand."

This is food. I loved visiting the Walmart in Wuhan. It has some similarities to the WalMart I know, but the basket of live frogs was not one of them.

Nor was the eel.

Walmart has loads of other seafood too!

This is the similarity to the walmat I know. Aisle and aisles of super cheap stuff. Unlike the walmart in the US, the one in Wuhan has almost all domestic products ; )

Some snacks on the train. I wasn't adventurous enough to buy this...

Scorpions! They looked super crazy because they would spear them on the stick while alive so you could watch them squirm.

However, it just tasted like crunchy oil. Not worth the $4... I was disappointed.

I didn't venture to try this, but they look super weird...

Some super cute cakes : )  This looks much less frightening to eat.

I heard duck tongue was a delicacy and I forgot to eat it the first time I had duck. I ordered a duck head 鸭头, but I think I should have went to a nicer restaurant because there really wasn't much of anything on this charred duck head. They gave me a heart plate, though, so at least it was served with love.

My host in Beijing taught me how to make Gansu noodles!  I was not very good at it, but it was super fun. He was a really good cook : )

I had pickled garlic that me made, which was surprisingly good.

This is a random dessert plate.

And a man with the dessert plate as a hat : )

My favorite sign in Hong Kong.